You have to worry about a society that is so easily swayed. Celebrity worship has gone from “I wish I could be that person” to simply “I will follow them till my death”. Politicians included. I don’t fault the Jan 6th “rioters” because they truly believed what their leader was telling them. And hell, if it was for real, we’d have to commend them for taking action! But.. they were lied to and are continued being lied to and even with all the court cases and NO proof, they still believe in the snake oil salesman.
Religious people follow a man who is on his 3rd marriage. A man who lies and steals and cheats.
Women support a man who was recorded saying “I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy”
Women support a man convicted of sexual molestation
Women support a man who is proud he stacked the supreme court to chip away at their rights
Women support a man who cheated on his pregnant wife with a porn star then paid her off to keep quiet
You have to worry about a society that is so easily swayed. Celebrity worship has gone from “I wish I could be that person” to simply “I will follow them till my death”. Politicians included. I don’t fault the Jan 6th “rioters” because they truly believed what their leader was telling them. And hell, if it was for real, we’d have to commend them for taking action! But.. they were lied to and are continued being lied to and even with all the court cases and NO proof, they still believe in the snake oil salesman.
Religious people follow a man who is on his 3rd marriage. A man who lies and steals and cheats.
Women support a man who was recorded saying “I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy”
Women support a man convicted of sexual molestation
Women support a man who is proud he stacked the supreme court to chip away at their rights
Women support a man who cheated on his pregnant wife with a porn star then paid her off to keep quiet
Women support a man who makes fun of the way a woman looks in order to demean her
The guy loses court case after court case, he’s proven to be a liar and a cheat. So many people around him are in prison or paying huge fines.
There are literally websites detailing all countless the lies and corruption of this idiot.
Yet, they follow.
We look back at history and wonder “how in the hell did the world not see Hitler happening”?
We’ll look back on this time and wonder “how did we not stop this scumbag” and how the fuck did we at the same time have people fighting against helping one country being invaded by an enemy while funding another committing genocide.
2023/2024 are a fucked up time
Widows Walk
What’s a widows walk? It starts as the walk into the funeral home when the reality hits. It continues every day, every hour, every minute.
Tomorrow is the walk of the parent who has to sit without their other half. Sitting looking out at the little creation that was created knowing he is looking back half as fulfilled as everyone else. Cheated in life to no fault of their own. Getting half hugs of congratulations and half of pity. What a sad situation, but man he’s doing a great job. You don’t know that, you don’t really know anything. Some know that the jerkoff ex showed up and might embarrass the family so they “get it”. You don’t.
It makes me crazy when people post RIP on social media and act like some celebrity death “hit them so hard”. Really? So when you are sitting alone at your kids graduation you’re thinking “man I wish Cris Cornell was here”. When you go to bed at night you still sleep on the same side of the bed after 7 years because Dime Bag Darryl isn’t here? You walk around a building of constant reminders of what could have been and often fight back tears or flat out sob because that actor who said lines that were written for him off’d himself? You don;’t know shit, and what you think you know is even bigger bullshit.
We endure the cashier at the store who loves to joke about how “mom” is gonna react when you guys get home. The teacher who doesn’t know and is confused as to why the DAD has the audacity to show up for the school function. When the auditorium is filled and you scan the room hoping to find someone familiar to sit next to having flashbacks of grade school lunch. Then it all breaks and you take that quiet walk back to the car to drive home alone. The “walk”.
You have to endure endless chats of “you’ll find someone” as if you’re getting a constellation prize for what you went through. You lost the super bowl but hey, you get this check!
The widow walks forever leaving just 1 set of prints. No matter how hard you want to believe “they are here with you”, when you look back in the sand even if you are not alone, you are alone. You can’t replace that second half, especially when there is someone looking back at you as half.
We cling to the fantasy of a “reunion”. The fantasy is all we have until we get there. Just get to the end of each day and start again tomorrow.
Until then it’s just the widows walk.
Still?!?!?
There are still preachers on TV performing “miracles cures” and asking for your money… still…. why not walk into a hospital and do this?
Another holiday, another excuse to be sad…
Like many I often lay in bed pondering “what’s the point”? I don’t have an answer, but I did have an epiphany. I think I finally understand the draw of religion. I’ve discussed this many times with many people and the logical ones usually end with “humans are pack animals and like to belong”. I get that, but I have a hard time accepting the pack they choose to follow. I mean honestly, you can follow a million other things that are more productive and logical. Now don’t get me wrong, I realize many religious people do good things in life and sometimes make the world a better place. I totally get the moral aspect of it all, although the Christians who aren’t willing to be as giving as the guy they worship… well, they baffle me. Then again, they also think he rose from the dead, so let’s take a serious look at who we are judging.
So what is the point here besides igniting a debate that will never end until we’re dead and neither of us can prove the other was wrong?
My “ah ha” moment came when it finally hit me that there IS no point. I think we function better with a goal in mind. Could be money, material things or transforming your body. The end result gives us purpose. I’m not saying anything you probably haven’t learned in psych 101, so says the guy who barely made it out of high school. I don’t study human nature, I don’t care to figure it out as there is nothing I can do to change anything. Trust me, I have tried! I honestly thought being a voice in a band could make some sort of impact in the world. Shit, I’m playing for handfuls while others play for millions and even when they speak people are like “shut up and play the hit song”! Can you imagine that just because someone is an actor or musician they can’t speak about subjects outside of their specialty because people think they don’t know what they are talking about?!? I love the “just stick to acting Keanu”! They should have told Jesus “just stick to carpentry”!
I’m sure I’ve tipped my hand by now, but the enlightening moment came when I realized without the promise of Heaven most humans would not be able to deal with the realities of life. Not to sell humans short because we damn well know we can adapt and be resilient, or dare I saw…. evolve. But the way we are conditioned in modern times I think the reality that THIS is the game and there is no $200 when you pass go would be too much for too many. I watched this movie where they proved there is life after death and everyone started killing themselves. My wet dream. This begs the question, if you truly believe in life after death why are you so sad when someone dies”? Selfishness is the only answer. You are crying for yourself not the dead. I’m not much of a scholar on the bible, but I’m pretty sure they made it a sin to commit suicide. Now think about that, they dreamt up this oasis, this amazing reward for those who follow their set of morals (rules). Someone must have been like “why would the followers stay in this horrid existence if they believe such a wonderful reward is waiting for them”? Thus the rule, suicide is a sin! You really do have to hand it to the writers of these books, they crossed all those T’s! You can sing, you can hit a baseball, 50 people die and you survive “GOD looked out for you”! Your wife suffers and dies in front of you and your son “God has a plan”. Here we go…. “if god can help them hit a ball, why couldn’t he stop the cancer”? Best answer ever…. in…. 3… 2… 1… “god works in mysterious ways”!!!
So you pretty much take the “I know you are but what am I logic” and hold it close to your heart. You don’t question it because if you do you just might blow the whole theory out of the water and ruin the fantasy. The fantasy is king, the fantasy keeps the shit show of human existence in check and makes sense of it all. It’s brilliant!
My goal is simple, temporary smiles while trying to provide a happy life for my son. I try to let him form his own conclusions. I often tell him “We/I simply do not know for sure”. This pertains to many things in this world. Nothing is absolute when it comes to human behavior. Good thing for that otherwise we never would move forward!
I don’t think I could ever bring myself to fully understand let alone accept religion and it’s theories. I do know much of it is supposed to be about selflessness. Meanwhile look at the Vatican, look at the houses and cars of the priest and rabbi’s. Seriously folks, you should follow the word of jesus and give to the poor while the main guy of your religion lives in a place that would make any king throughout history jealous!?
With that said, I envy you. I am jealous of all of you who can shed logic and simply follow the path. You’re not truly happy, I see and observe you all, but you do have that trump card that I don’t have. I don’t like it, but I do think I now understand it. Hold onto it as hard as you can! But really, if you truly believe, a funeral should look more like a party because that person has won! The fact that you are sad shows that there are cracks in the armor of your belief.
However… if you believe in reincarnation then I can see the sadness…. who the fuck would want to do this over and over again…
Party on minions!
“Treatment”
The other day my friend, who is scheduled to have surgery, asked me what I thought about radiation. He was worried that all the scans and x-rays were making his condition worse. Without hesitation I wholeheartedly agreed with him. I am not a doctor and have zero medical training. What I do have is experience and sensibility. You don’t have to be a real estate agent, which I am, to know which houses are the cheapest. The ones in bad neighborhoods, near highways and of course, near power lines. Most of us have been through an x-ray in our lives, they slap you with a big metal sheet then run out of the room. You even might ask, “is this safe”? You’re going to ask the person hiding behind a booth making 50K a year if what they’re doing is going to harm you? Haha
Everyone’s experiences in life are different, that is a given. What I can share with you are mine. They took a happy and seemingly healthy woman and systematically destroyed her. The best part is, they didn’t make the 5 year mark, so it goes down as a failure in their books! Yes you see when you read cancer statistics, if you live 5 years and 1 day after being diagnosed, they call it a success! Hooray five whole years of life. Wait, let me take that back, five years of experimentation and cashing in. Burned in my memory is the day when they told Dawn (my wife) her cancer was back. The doctor leaned in and spoke real quiet. She said “I have seen people live with this for years, that’s years with and S”. I was appalled and disgusted. As was she, and soon after started “treatment” AGAIN at the top hospital in NYC. But let’s back up. You get your initial diagnosis and they start talking immediately about cutting, zapping and killing! It’s like the wild west partner, we’re gonna go in there and kill that varmint! Actually it’s more like, first we’re going to blow up the house where we think the bad guy lives. Then, we’re going to bomb the entire city and kill all the good people, ya know, just to be sure. BUT, then we’re going to expect everyone else to immediately move back in and make it a wonderful oasis again. However, every once in a while, we are going to pour some poison in the water. Sounds legit huh?
You immediately fall for it. After all why wouldn’t you, you have just been told you have something in you that is going to kill you! Kill or be killed. And these are the experts! Ask yourself this, how many new cancer wings do you see popping up? How many more walks and wear pink days? Follow the money trail. Well, you do, but in this case you’re under the assumption that the money trail is trying to cure you. So you are back at the hospital and here we go, you’re gonna start chemo. You have made peace with losing your hair, which is not such a big deal for men, but be ready, there will be tons of them in the poison room with you. Now I am a very observant person and tend to take in what’s going around me, but you don’t have to be like me to start to realize that a lot of the people in these rooms are not only friendly to each other, but friends. Pretty cool I thought. Until you hear them talking about how they are there “Again”. You will think “again, wow, they must be doing something wrong, that won’t be us”. Won’t it? Even a seemingly young healthy person’s body can be destroyed by non stop poison. You wanna see a real life place that looks like a haunted house, go to a chemo room. You will be amazed some of these people are still alive! I’ll never forget having a young girl wheeled next to us. They pulled the curtain so I couldn’t see her, but I did hear her sweet squeaky little voice. The nurse was asking about her catheter and nausea. Like a trooper, just like all the rest in the place, no complaints, she kept simply saying “I’m fine”. I recall us looking at each other teary eyed. You have to wonder, how can the healthy vegetarian who won’t even eat food out a container if it’s not BPA free and a young little girl be stricken with the same disease as those “other” people. Doesn’t shit like this only happen to “those people”? Well it does. And it does to you too. I also met a high school friend in the waiting room. She was in and out with her dad. It was his second go round. Ya see that’s the amazing thing in all this. Second time, third time. You go in thinking “we’ll do what they say and get past this”. After all, don’t we all know someone who has gone into remission? As humans we hold on to that. But what we fail to remember is all the other people what went back again. Or those who had other medial issues afterwards. They’ll never tell you those other issues are related, but come on, do they think we’re stupid?
The mind blowing thing is, once you even get past all the surgery, radiation and chemo, they keep making you come back. More and more tests and scans. My friend was dead on correct! How can all this radiation be good for me? It’s not! Other times we’d go in and they’d make you drink this chemical shit storm to aid in the contrast of the CT scan. Mind you, they would almost always do an x-ray first. Then they’d say “well the x-ray doesn’t show us enough so we have to do the CT scan”. And so we’d ask “if the x-ray doesn’t show anything, then why do you do an x-ray every time”? They 100% always replied “that’s the procedure we have to follow for the insurance companies”. I’m sure this makes as little sense to you as it does me. Isn’t it in the insurance company’s best interest to make you better? I guess if exposing a person’s compromised body to more poison in the goal, then yes….?
Years and years, same routine. All the while they keep telling you “we’re doing everything we can”. Which, in all honestly, is correct. I don’t think most doctors are bad people and I think 99% of the nurses are genuinely amazing people! But they are trained to think a certain way. They read trials trials trials, this is the “proof” of what they are doing. They go to conferences sponsored by drug companies telling them to use THEIR pill. And let’s face it, to be a doctor or nurse you have to absorb and immense amount of information, it’s no wonder they stick to what they have been taught. Usually after things drag on for so many years you eventually start to look into alternative therapies. You start to feel like a fool. How could you have fallen for this for so long?! You start to read story after story that sounds just like yours. And you think “shit, are we too late”?!? Often times, yes. Think back to that city that was bombed and poisoned over and over. Are you going to buy fruit grown in Hiroshima or Chernobyl? Well, what if we dredge the lake, lay some top soil? Or how about we put a sponge bob band aid on your gunshot wound? You get the picture.
In spite of all this. In spite of having a tube sticking out the side of her ribs to drain fluid from her lung every day, in spite of the years of poison, in spite of the double mastectomy (which they said would help), In spite of the ovaries being taken out (which they said would help stop the estrogen from producing which was a cause of her problems *mind you they still wanted her to take the estrogen blocking pills even after. Hummmm), my wife was standing in front of her students on the first day of school 2013. Reigning teacher of the year!
But…. She happend to mention headaches during a visit and they decided to scan her head that day. I knew her for 17+ years, this girl always had head ache issues. Always always always! But on that scan, they saw something that looked like lesion on her brain. Sound the alarm! Call everyone! This girl can’t even drive home from work! I don’t recall if they did another scan, but they damn well “knew” this was “new” cancer on the brain and it needed to be killed! Killed Now! I can hear the doctors voice in my head till this day. A German accent I’m pretty sure. She was the shit! She knew better than the rest of the world because she was tried and funded by the finest drug companies in the world! (my theory of course) Next HAD to be surgery and Radiation! By this time I was heavy into alternatives and was 100% opposed! I watched them destroy her to the breaking point and just knew she could not take any more. Dawn did muster up enough guts to ask “what if I did surgery and not the radiation”? The doctor was disgusted and arrogant, she replied “and what, just watch the cancer grow and do nothing”? All you would have to do is look at this girls history to know she could not take much more. But they did not take that into account, nor seem to care if you ask me. Fear clouds your judgment. I don’t think many of us have ever been in that position or ever will. I hope with all my being I never will be. I did try though. I pleaded with Dawn, I begged her family to help change her mind. But in the end you have to let a person decide their own fate. Surgery was a piece of cake. I actually wasn’t opposed to surgery to remove the largest mass, but they needed to kill kill kill the rest. Can you imagine? Radiation on the brain. I often think that many years from now we will look back upon these times like we do about the old west when they would tell you to take a swig of whisky and then rip out your tooth or cut of a badly damaged limb. 4 Years of poison topped off like an ice cream Sunday. Here’s some chocolate radiation sauce topped with an organ killing cherry. Enjoy!
So my friend, do I think you should be concerned with all that radiation? You bet your fucking ass I do! The doctors will tell you the “alternative” therapy world is unproven. Maybe not in text books, fancy websites and bought and paid for trials, but once you start exploring that world you will find amazing things are happening. You will also find out how the establishment skews it’s numbers to make themselves look good. Their success rate is crap. 5 years and 1 day, don’t forget that.
As I said in the beginning, everyone has their own experiences and no two journeys are alike. But in the end, if you were going to die, wouldn’t you rather die drinking juices and veggies rather than being poisoned? Understand this, if something is not a threat then why try so hard to discredit it? For example, I never had a problem holding a purse in public because I am secure in who I am. Shakespeare wrote “methinks thou dost protest too much”. Of course the medical establishment knows nothing other than pills and surgery and calls anything else rubbish, look who funds them!
In the end we all make our own choices I guess. My hopes are that at least someone will read this and consider taking the path less traveled. Will you end up like my wife? Maybe, maybe not. But understand this, what you read here is just a small sampling of the years of pain and anguish that was our reality. Religious or not, pray you are never in our shoes. But if you are, please consider ALL your options.
Just a few sites I recommend:
What grinds my gears!
Sometimes I think being in traffic will be the end of me. When you really think about it, how humans act in traffic shows the true face of who they are. You feel safe, empowered and much more confident than you would be if you were say, standing in line inches away face to face with others.. Is this the true face of who we are? I love the phrase “You Can Easily Judge the Character of a Man by How He Treats Those Who Can Do Nothing for Him”. So when you’re surrounded by your 2 tons of steel and you are barreling down the road you feel as if no one can hurt you. What do many do with this power? Abuse it. I think this is human arrogance and self centered nature at it’s worst! Think about a traffic light. When you are behind a person who doesn’t go as soon as the light turns green they are “an asshole”. When you’re in that first spot and someone dares to beep while you’re looking down at your phone, you move slower. Same goes for when someone is waiting for your parking spot. Or the ABSOLUTE WORST is the left lane driver! In New Jersey we have signs up all over the highway that read “Keep right, pass left”. This means if you are doing 101mph in the Left lane and a car comes behind you wanting to do 102mph, GET THE FUCK OVER!! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation with people and they admit “yeah, I slow down to fuck with them”. Really?!?! But when you’re the person behind, you are cursing up a storm at the one in front of you!
As Cooper (7 year old son) and I navigate the world the phrase “How the hell did these people get a license” is uttered numerous times. You hear the public rail against “aggressive” drivers all the time. This blows my mind! I think what they call aggressive is really people who pay attention! Does anyone really believe that the aggressive driver is the one slowing down and causing traffic when there is an accident ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY?!? The aggressive driver is the person who is NOT out for a sunday fucking drive! The aggressive driver can move away from the shoulder when a person is changing their tire and keep going. Should we rail against the people who want to keep the world moving as opposed to those who cause traffic, waste gas and add to the already horrid pollution problem? There’s no shame is being lost or unsure of where you are going. Stay right and figure things out.
You come to a light where 2 cars just about fit, you are going straight, cars can turn right on red, is it really too much to ask that you move your fucking car over to the left so people behind you can turn? Again, arrogance, self centered.
You just sat in a long line of cars at a light, as always, people have to wait until the car in front of them is 15 feet away before hitting the gas, the car in front of you is just about there when the light turns yellow, you are hoping to make it, what do they do? Slow down of course! What kind of asshole arrogant bullshit is this? They know damn well you are trying to make it. They just sat through the same frustration. But they have the power over you and feel you can do nothing about it, they chose this action.
I live in Tenafly NJ, a very well to do area. You can amp up these gripes a few notches here. Oh I’m sorry, I parked my giant Escalade crooked and there’s no room for others to park? Hummm as I get out, I look back and notice… and I keep walking! Oh so BP lies and cheated and the result was billions of gallons of oil dumped into the ocean. 3 gas stations in town, the most expensive is BP. The one that’s filled with Mercedes, BMW and Lexus…. BP. I guess when you view this, there really shouldn’t be any question why so many drive in such a self centered nature. if these people don’t even care about the thing that sustains their lives, EARTH, why would they care if I’m behind them NOT turning at a light.
And what is the big mystery about a MERGE!? Simply put, a merge is like a zipper. One goes, then the other. A zipper works perfectly unless the seamless planning is altered. Here’s a secret world…. You don’t have to slow down or stop to merge!! I know, mind BLOWN right?!?! Often they will alert you to a lane closing, all you have to do is, wait for it, oh man you are going to freak the fuck out when you hear this… are you ready? ADJUST YOUR SPEED AND GET OVER! That’s it, that is all you have to do! If you’re doing 55 and so is the car next to you, drop to 53 or speed up to 57! That’s it, simple! To the continuation of this, once the merge is over, can someone please explain to me how there is still traffic? Or better yet, traffic AFTER a toll booth?! Have you ever seen sand go through an hour glass? It waits it’s turn, then flows freely out the other side.
Simply put, if people drove how they conduct themselves when face to face this world would be a better place. Think about it, how much stress do you get when driving? How often does it ruin you plans and fun when sitting in traffic? I have NEVER heard ONE SINGLE person in my life tell me they enjoy traffic. I’m going to tell you right now, I damn well know I am not the one causing it. Is it really too much to consider your fellow human being while out there and treat them as you would like to be treated? How many times are you going to look at me and give me the finger with a cross dangling from your rear view mirror? I’ll tell you this right now, 99% of the population would not pull this kind of bullshit face to face. Black eyes and fat lips would litter the landscape.
This is not about driving, this is about who we are as humans. How we treat each other when we think we won’t have to deal with the repercussions of our actions. If this is who we truly are then maybe we should amp up the bombs and go the way of the dinosaur.
Yelling out the window just won’t do…
Facebook people bitch when you bitch, they complain when you throw out theories, they crap on your ideas…. Maybe this place will be better.
Either way, I’m here to toss my idea’s into cyber world because yelling out the window just isn’t satisfying any more.
Earth Blog 